It is a very hard day for me today. Halloween, what used to be one of our favorite holidays, this year is just another day. We used to decorate up the yard to the extreme. We would have the fog machines out, electronic pumpkins, you name it we had it. We even used to decorate up the dogs in costumes. But this year we haven't even mentioned getting the things out of the closet. Our hearts just aren't in like they have been the past few years. We aren't going to be handing out candy this year either. It is just too hard to see all the little ones all dressed up having a blast going from house to house. Some of them with candy bags so full they are leaving a trail behind them as they walk up and down the sidewalks.
I see pictures of all these kids dressed up in their costumes and it hurts so bad that we don't have a little one to share this with. We have not been running around searching for the past couple months for the cutest or best looking costume, but I sure wish I had been. Our excitement for Halloween has just diminished. Normally we would have been outside all day today putting the finishing touches on the masterpiece we had created in our front yard, but today we have just been sitting around the house. I can feel that I am more irritable today and I know the reason why. I want to be getting my son ready to go "trick or treating" or at his age it would have been more like showing off, and I can't.
If you are reading this and are one of the parents who really don't want to take your kids out tonight to trick or treat. Or if you really don't want to mess with getting the costumes out and getting your children ready for a night that they will truly enjoy, please remember that there are people out there such as my husband and I that would love to be doing those things right now. We would love to have the opportunity to take our son from house to house as long as he would last. As a matter of fact we would do it just to be able to spend that time with our child. Unfortunately that is not an option for us this year.
Some can only dream about what others take for granted.
~Shannon~
This is just my experience and of course is very different from yours...
ReplyDeleteWe lost Barb around thanksgiving, her funeral was the day after if memory serves me (and it may not as i try to block the bad times). I found it very hard to be thankful that year. I also spent the Christmas season alone in my appartment crying my eyes out sitting under the Christmas tree I forced myself to put up. The pain blotted out everything else, the vast emptiness consumed me. I had so many sweet memories us at Christmas time and was dwelling on the fact there were never going to be more. I felt lost in the loss.
Sorry to clutter ur blog with my experiences but I wanted to share perhaps a little glimmer of hope with u... She's gone, I miss her, I love her, that first year was hard, it's still hard. But I try to seek out te happy memories because she would have wanted us to be happy. I celebrate life, allthe while missing her, but I'm able to carry on now. I'm not going to pretend this time of year isn't hard for me, that has never changed, I stopped sharing my grief with my family and friends which perhaps is a bad thing, I just was able to find a way to take the edge off the pain. This is the first time i've spoken of this pain to anyone except lee in a long time... It's hard to feel love through all the pain, but possible. I hope it helps a little.
In time, I hope you and Corey are able to celebrate the way you once loved so much, I hope you are both able to feel how much you are loved through this tough season approaching. Best wishes! -audry
Shannon and Corey, what a great way to deal with your loss. I am so proud of the two of you for taking this opportunity to honor Logan this way and for bringing in some of your life for all of us to share. I only wish I would have had some way to openly grieve the loss of my father and brother. I spent many nights talking to myself, recapping memories and crying. You both are so near and dear to our hearts. We love you and think about you always.
ReplyDeleteTrish
Thank you guys for sharing, it is very well appreciated. We want this to be a place that anyone can share what, and how they feel. I do apologize for the assanine comment that was posted on here, and do not know who did it, as they were too afraid to post their own info. Almost never will I delete a comment, but for someone to say "you are annoying" to either my wife, or someone else that felt compelled to share their story, and it was uncalled for. I do monitor this, and am considering changing the comments to approve first, instead of let any post just come on.
ReplyDelete-Corey